Self confidence is one of those things that takes absolutely ages to built, years even. Built up carefully through happy memories, nice photos and compliments it can be taken away by in a second.
My confidence is slowly coming back, I can look at myself now without questioning what went wrong. Without asking if it would be different if I had been skinnier, or bubblier, or shaved my legs all the time. I'm stopping doubting myself, stopping feeling ashamed when anyone asks how I'm doing or very occasionally asks what happened between me and him. I still have moments when I look back, but I'm trying not to look back with regret, it just makes me feel weak. I have to think about how much worse it would have been if it had happened a few years on, if we'd moved in together. I'd have been a mess, the issues of sorting out a stupid website account we share are nothing compared to the mess of sorting out a house and a life together.
All my friends seem to be turning 18 at the moment, which means I have a lot of parties to go to and a lot of different outfits to wear. This means happy photos. I know a teenagers life shouldn't be measured by others on their Facebook photos, but they are, and since the break up I've lost over 100 photos of me as they were all with him. I've also come to realise that all my other photos are of me in my onsie, it's not a bad thing, but I probably don't give off the impression of a 17 year old whose 'lovin life.' Hopefully I will soon. Have also made my profile private for the time being, really don't want the ex's friends or his new bit having a good old stalk. In the shallowest way, I'm going to wait till I have a super hot display picture to scare them all off.
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