And then came the phone call.

That phone call that brought it all home. The one where he'd said he'd read the email and that it had made him cry and he had nothing to say to me. The phone call where he crushed me by mocking that I'd thought it would last forever, apparently he'd been having doubts for months. Apparently he'd 'grown up' over the Summer and felt 'realistically and statistically' that the relationship wouldn't last.

We'd talked over the Summer about sleeping together, we'd been talking about it for about a year really. During the Summer after endless talks and even a consideration, prompted on his behalf, about whether we should wait till marriage we decided the Summer would be a good time. We went through all the motions, I went to the Doctors and he knew that I would never ever have done it if I hadn't thought we would have been together forever. The whole Summer we were perfect. Why didn't he tell me he was having doubts, ending it back then would have made things so much easier.