Facing up.

Before the break up he had planned to come home the following weekend and visit. He'd promised his family a visit so couldn't really avoid coming home and he suggested that we should meet up to talk things through. I wanted to go, of course I wanted to go. What girl wouldn't want the chance to go and win back someone they loved, or even just see them, even just to say goodbye.

 I'm not stupid though, even I knew that ground rules had to be set. I told him that I would meet him in our local town, at the train station, talk for an hour and  a half and then I would meet one of my friends H for dinner at Nando's. His reply to this wasn't great, 'Fine. If you only want to see me for a tiny bit than that's up to you.' What did he think was going to happen?

It gets worse though. His mixed messages came, with him texting me to say 'I'm really excited about seeing you on Friday. I can't wait.' Mind my language, but WTF? He breaks up with me then says he's excited about seeing me, it wasn't going to be a date, this was going to be our hardest face to face meeting yet, possibly the last time we ever saw each other. I wasn't excited, I was dreading it. I didn't want to see him and for all my feelings to come rushing back and then realise that actually I couldn't act on those feelings. I didn't want to see him and remember that this thing I was going through wasn't just a horrible dream, that it was real and our relationship was over. Oh well, at least I had Nando's to look forward to.