I thought Monday was going to be the hardest day yet. I had dealt with pretending that I was okay at home and had a perfected the pattern of sleeping and not talking to my family but I had no idea how to deal with school. It was almost like I felt ashamed of the break up, everyone had always known me and A to be so strong, everyone had always joked that I was going to be the first one to get married. But here I was, single, after 2 years. My relationship had failed.
Getting on the school bus was weird, only one of the girls knew and I just pretended to be asleep not wanting to get drawn into conversation. I was fine again until I saw one of my friends who knew and was probably waiting for me to just collapse in her arms, which I did. I didn't go to registration and was escorted to San where I sat and cried for a good half an hour. After this I just glided through lessons feeling numb, I'm assuming people gradually found out what had happened as there was sympathy and the occasional passing comment of 'his loss' and some profanities. It's a weird feeling having people feel sorry for you when you're still in denial about what has happened, it just didn't feel real.
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