My anger changes, from angry tears to elated '**** you, I'm going to move on' moments.
The feeling that I can come out of this stronger and better and later in life move on to a love that is real and actually good for me, makes me feel so hopeful. During these moods I put on makeup and dress up in my best clothes, feeling strong and like I can take on the world. I bitch about him to friends and make jokes. I listen to empowering music like Kelly Clarkson's Breakaway Album and Beyonce. I can do my homework and have the motivation to listen in class, socialise and do exercise.
Then comes the angry tears, the times of hate and anger so tight inside me that I wanted to just rip it out and lash out. I am anti-social, snappy and confused. Why has he done this? Why did this happen to me, the stable one, always comfortable in my relationship and with myself until now.
The angry tears become less and less often, but till then everyone knows when to give me some space. I feel sorry for those around.
The feeling that I can come out of this stronger and better and later in life move on to a love that is real and actually good for me, makes me feel so hopeful. During these moods I put on makeup and dress up in my best clothes, feeling strong and like I can take on the world. I bitch about him to friends and make jokes. I listen to empowering music like Kelly Clarkson's Breakaway Album and Beyonce. I can do my homework and have the motivation to listen in class, socialise and do exercise.
Then comes the angry tears, the times of hate and anger so tight inside me that I wanted to just rip it out and lash out. I am anti-social, snappy and confused. Why has he done this? Why did this happen to me, the stable one, always comfortable in my relationship and with myself until now.
The angry tears become less and less often, but till then everyone knows when to give me some space. I feel sorry for those around.
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