I've realised now how I pushed him away after the break up, I read that men can change their minds really quickly. He did, but he was on the brink of coming back and I pushed him the other way with my over the top keenness and desperation. I almost missed him too much, maybe he honestly didn't know how much he meant to me and it scared him off when he found out.
Nobody wants to get back with a crier. As they sing in Cabaret 'Everybody loves a winner and that's why no one loved me.' I was too desperate and that made me weak and unappealing, it would have been better just to have been confident and sell myself rather than try and give myself away to him again. I'm an ugly crier and being too keen never helps anyone. I've learnt my lesson now and vow not to contact him or let him contact me again for personal contact, just business. I'm going to wait completely and then maybe in January send him a casual birthday card, as an attempt to make peace and if he doesn't reply, I'll have to leave it. I'll realise that I'm no longer a part of his life at all, that he has literally erased me from it.
There's still hope among my realisation though.
Nobody wants to get back with a crier. As they sing in Cabaret 'Everybody loves a winner and that's why no one loved me.' I was too desperate and that made me weak and unappealing, it would have been better just to have been confident and sell myself rather than try and give myself away to him again. I'm an ugly crier and being too keen never helps anyone. I've learnt my lesson now and vow not to contact him or let him contact me again for personal contact, just business. I'm going to wait completely and then maybe in January send him a casual birthday card, as an attempt to make peace and if he doesn't reply, I'll have to leave it. I'll realise that I'm no longer a part of his life at all, that he has literally erased me from it.
There's still hope among my realisation though.
I don't think there's anything other than an ugly crier - I know that I certainly am one!!
ReplyDeleteI think you're right when you say you can be too keen and I believe that this can work against you (us, women in general), but I think emotions take over at times like this and it's only on reflection you can start to see the bigger picture and learn what to avoid doing in these situations.
Chin up, and stay positive. Lord knows the amount of things I've read to help me get over a break-up but experience has taught me that time really is a healer and things do get better as the weeks and months go by.
I hope this blog is helping you with your feelings. I am sure it is helping others also in your situation. xx
Thanks, I really think I'm starting to see the bigger picture. I feel sad, but less and less and I haven't cried since the weekend, which although doesn't sound like long, is a big thing for me. x
ReplyDelete