Right, so yesterday he came home from university. We had a phone call where he was really weird and horrible and distant but also kept laughing and joking. Left in on an average note.
Today I did the craziest thing. You know the thing that people do in films. Stupid me. I told him I was coming round to talk and I went round (I also brought my running kit because he used to love going running with me).
I went round with all of the crap of his that I still had at my house and dropped it off. He refused to look at me or even see me, but came outside to get his things. I had a pair of cheap sunglasses of his and I took them out of my bag and he lunged for them, so I told him he could have them back if he talked to me and told my why he was acting so hatefully. He then lunged at me, twisted my arm behind my back, kicked the backs of my legs and laughed. I dropped the glasses, but he continued to twist my arm round until I started to cry, at which point he pushed me to the ground, picked up the glasses and walked inside, slamming the door. (His family saw all of this) While I got up, his mum called out to ask if I was okay to which he replied ' That? It's just trash that the bin men forgot to pick up, it needs getting rid of.' I threw my red book that he'd given me as a goodbye present before uni at his door and I left.
His mum followed my down the street and called for me and so I turned to talk to her. She apologised for his behaviour and said that he was just getting changed and would come and talk to me properly. We had some general polite conversation where she told me that he had been anti-social every time he'd been home. He then came out looked at me and told me to get walking, we walked and I tried to talk to him. He just ignored me and laughed at every words asking me 'if that was all I'd got.' He finally asked me to ask him questions.
I asked him if he liked someone else:
'Yes'
If he'd kissed her:
'Yes'
If he'd slept with her:
'Yes, last Thursday'
Girlfriend?:
'Kind of, I guess' and then he laughed at me again and went 'See, I wasn't going to tell you'
I turned around and walked back to his house without him. I saw his Mum and asked for my red book back, which she gave to me. I then said 'I know why it is now, he met someone else. At least he didn't cheat' and then I left for my Mum to come and pick me up.
I got in the car with my Mum and we were just leaving when we saw his Mum running down the road crying, we stopped and she told me I had to give the red book back to him because he didn't want me to have it and he was getting really angry at her. I told her I would give it back myself, and I went back to his house and on the way ripped up the book and gave it to him and said that his new girlfriend could have a better one. He just laughed and told me he hated me and swore at me. I left. Never again will I go anywhere near him.
Today I did the craziest thing. You know the thing that people do in films. Stupid me. I told him I was coming round to talk and I went round (I also brought my running kit because he used to love going running with me).
I went round with all of the crap of his that I still had at my house and dropped it off. He refused to look at me or even see me, but came outside to get his things. I had a pair of cheap sunglasses of his and I took them out of my bag and he lunged for them, so I told him he could have them back if he talked to me and told my why he was acting so hatefully. He then lunged at me, twisted my arm behind my back, kicked the backs of my legs and laughed. I dropped the glasses, but he continued to twist my arm round until I started to cry, at which point he pushed me to the ground, picked up the glasses and walked inside, slamming the door. (His family saw all of this) While I got up, his mum called out to ask if I was okay to which he replied ' That? It's just trash that the bin men forgot to pick up, it needs getting rid of.' I threw my red book that he'd given me as a goodbye present before uni at his door and I left.
His mum followed my down the street and called for me and so I turned to talk to her. She apologised for his behaviour and said that he was just getting changed and would come and talk to me properly. We had some general polite conversation where she told me that he had been anti-social every time he'd been home. He then came out looked at me and told me to get walking, we walked and I tried to talk to him. He just ignored me and laughed at every words asking me 'if that was all I'd got.' He finally asked me to ask him questions.
I asked him if he liked someone else:
'Yes'
If he'd kissed her:
'Yes'
If he'd slept with her:
'Yes, last Thursday'
Girlfriend?:
'Kind of, I guess' and then he laughed at me again and went 'See, I wasn't going to tell you'
I turned around and walked back to his house without him. I saw his Mum and asked for my red book back, which she gave to me. I then said 'I know why it is now, he met someone else. At least he didn't cheat' and then I left for my Mum to come and pick me up.
I got in the car with my Mum and we were just leaving when we saw his Mum running down the road crying, we stopped and she told me I had to give the red book back to him because he didn't want me to have it and he was getting really angry at her. I told her I would give it back myself, and I went back to his house and on the way ripped up the book and gave it to him and said that his new girlfriend could have a better one. He just laughed and told me he hated me and swore at me. I left. Never again will I go anywhere near him.
Sorry, he actually physcially assaulted you? Please don't dress it up hun and think "oh he was just playing around" or "he obviously didn't mean to be aggressive". It doesn't matter. He used physical force to PUSH YOU to the ground and hurt you by twisting your arm. This is completely and utterly, 100% unnacceptable and harmful behaviour; you should actually consider reporting him to the police.
ReplyDeleteWas he referring to you when he was talking about when he made the trash/bin-men comments? The fact that he said this, if it was about you, and laughed when he hurts you indiciates that it wasn't a spur of the moment, blind rage, minute of madness type thing (not that it would excuse his behaviour if it was right enough).
I am totally shocked by what I have read. The guy sounds like a worthless peice of scum. I know break-ups are difficult and it's only natural to want to hold on to the idea you have of them from when you were going out and his behaviour was (hopefully) different. But please, every time you feel yourself getting sad or upset or wishing that things could be like how they used to, remember this incident.
You seem like an intelligent young woman who is very self aware (this is a good thing!). From the picture you posted earlier, you have a gorgeous figure and I'm sure you have a million other fabulous qualities that make you a wonderful, unique individual.
Reading this blog reminds me so much of myself when I was 18. Our situations were so similar and I genuinely never thought I would get over my ex boyfriend; I didn't WANT to get over him because I was holding on to what used to be. I'm not gonna lie, it took a long time to get over him and it was difficult. I made the mistake of trying to stay in contact and trying to please him but by doing that, the only person I was making life difficult for was me. It's now five years later and I've been with my boyfriend for two years. We are planning to move in together in the summer and he is absolutely the love of my life. My ex doesn't even compare. The same WILL happen for you, just focus on yourself for a long time, you deserve it!
Best wishes xx
Yes the trash comments were made at me. I'm not going to report him to the police because I don't want to mess up life for his family, who have been so nice to me over the years.
ReplyDeleteI will never ever get back with him now. What he did was way too aggressive, he overstepped a line and he can never ever go back. The other girl he's with can have him.
Thanks for your support. It's really nice to hear that other people have been through similar situations and come out so much stronger. x
I don't tend to read break up blogs, finding them annoying and whiny - but this post is not a normal case of teenage melodrama.
ReplyDeleteHe physically ASSAULTED you. There is nothing, NOTHING, that can justify that. Like Anon said, break-ups are difficult and people can say/do things in the spur of the moment - but this is definitely not one of them. If I'm honest, I'd want to look into pressing charges just so he knows how ridiculously frightening that is.
From this post, his mum actually sounded sane. But judging by your next entries, clearly that is not the case. I don't see at all how they could possibly say you're at fault AT ALL - unless of course, you verbally antagonised him and didn't write about it. And even so, he should know better to use VIOLENCE against a woman, simply because we have no defence against that!
This guy is a shit person, not just a boyfriend. Be glad you got out when you can. Things like this will eventually help in getting over him - even if it hurts more at the time.
Hope you have a better 2012 :)
Thanks. Although I am using this blog to get out my angst it's glad to know I'm not coming across as too whiny.
ReplyDeleteI'm not going to press charges. If it was no hassle to me or my family I might, but I have exams in a few weeks and my family already have enough outside problems to worry about. The most he'd get is a caution and the pain I'd have to go through going over that day again and again isn't worth it. Him and his family have stayed clear since the Facebook incidents, hopefully they've realised what they did was wrong.
And no, I didn't verbally antagonise him, up until that point I genuinely thought he was just being grumpy and still thought a reconciliation to the point of being friends was possible.
I'm really happy that I got out while I could. I don't think I could have dealt with anything worse than that. It was rock bottom for me and 2012 can only get better :) x